


And I... I can’t ever wake up...

by snailthesaints



Series: After. [1]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Aphasia, Brain Damage, Coma, Head Injury, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22292098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snailthesaints/pseuds/snailthesaints
Summary: Party Poison took a hell of a hit to the head. This is his journey back to reality.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (Danger Days), Gerard Way & Mikey Way, no waycest just focuses on BROTHERLY love a bit
Series: After. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604596
Comments: 15
Kudos: 51





	And I... I can’t ever wake up...

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dark. This fic is really fucking dark. It was quite hard to write and I don’t know why I wanted to at all. Honestly, I’ve had someone close to me suffer a stroke and know other people who deal with brain injury type stuff and it is so fucked up. I’m also perpetually worried about max becker lol (though he seems to be doing really well and afaik never experienced anything as severe as what Party does here - everyone’s different). I guess, I kind of like the challenge of writing from the point of view of something experiencing a different reality to mine/getting inside the head of someone who’s head isn’t working all that great (it’s okay mine doesn’t either - just in a different way). Also, I like making the reader suffer. So I hope, as dark a topic as this is, I’ve done it justice and written it in a sensitive and humanizing way.
> 
> This is just a one shot thing but spoiler alert Party does improve beyond this and I might write more as part of a series. Lmk <3

He could feel warmth beating down on his skin. It burned. It was suffocating.

***

There were noises. Cries. Shaky voices speaking a language he didn’t recognise.

***

Electricity pulsed through his veins, rising and falling. It felt like he was up to his neck in a deep fat fryer, he jerked away from the source but it stayed glued to his skin, his reaction only sending pins and needles through his entire body. There was a warm touch, that one didn’t hurt so much.

***

He felt trapped. Panic rose inside him. Anger. Confusion. He wanted to scream. It consumed his entire reality.

***

He gagged, choked and spluttered, his body convulsing against an intrusion. Cool liquid flooded his esophagus. He probably inhaled more than he swallowed though. At some point in the ordeal, his eyes flew open but all he saw were blurs of light. Colours he couldn’t make sense of. But that’s okay, he just felt numb.

***

A rumble of a speeding car. Tip tap noises. Voices. He opened his eyes. It was bright. He was laid on the tiled floor of a place he’d never been before. The world was in surreal slow motion. A figure loomed over him, it was like he was looking through a mist yet his sight was crystal clear. He was thinking through a mist.

There were hands cupping his face.

The figures lips moved. He had dark brown, almost black hair falling across rugged tanned skin. Shadows hollowed out his face, his eyes were wide and cheeks pulled back in the ghost of a smile. There were dark blue-black designs decorating his hands and neck, poking out from under a yellow and khaki jacket.

It all morphed into one. He had never seen anyone or anything like the being in front of him in his life.

Sound filled his ears.

Fear bubbled up inside him. It was too much, the figure was too close, the sounds were too loud, the lights were too bright, the touches were too painful.

He scrambled back, adrenaline coursing through him. The figure came closer, and he panicked. He yelled something and kicked out, the sound surprising him. It was all too intense. He was cornered. He needed something but he didn’t know what. He needed out.

Tears rolled down his face. Tears dropped from the figures face onto his skin.

A flurry of noise and movement and the figure was gone.

***

A voice filled his ears, he opened his eyes. A skinny blonde figure in red jacket, with a square jaw and a straight face sat next to him. He watched the persons lips flutter open and soon more sound reached him.

It was a foreign language.

The man was a stranger but his presence felt familiar, as he lay in the corner of an unfamiliar world.

Everything hurt. His body was stiff and contorted and burning him up inside. 

He watched the man speak.

A word came up more than others, a gentle sound with two beats, that started with a puff of air, morphed into a long sound and ended with a higher pitched noise.

He didn’t know what this meant. He didn’t know what any of this meant. He didn’t know this brain, this body, this world he’d been thrown into.

Then he heard it.

“Gerard”

It was whispered, the man was leaning closer as he said it.

He knew that word, he’d been hearing it all his life.

He forced his muscles into action, repeating the sound back. He wasn’t sure how accurate it was.

Gerard. Gerard. Gerard.

This was big. This was massive. He could feel it. This meant something, but it was like that meaning was locked behind a brick wall in his brain. Wait- his brain.

Him.

Gerard.

It clicked.

He was Gerard.

Finally, he had an answer to a question he didn’t realise he’d been asking.

The man in front of him continued speaking, it sounded so painfully familiar, so close to making sense. Like if he could just squint his ears, it would fall into place. He’d become fluent in this language, in this world again. He recognised sounds, phrases but that only served to tease him when he couldn’t place their meaning.

All he knew was that he knew the man in front of him, and that man knew him.

It scared him, frustrated him, confused him and comforted him all at once.

Words began filling his mind.

Fuck.

Shit.

Those were angry, intense, passionate. Those had a familiar energy. He didn’t know if they fit the situation but they were the only tools at his disposal, so he used them, the vibrations from his own vocal cords tripping him out as he twisted his mouth into the shapes that seemed to go with them.

At some point, he was crying, clawing at the cold floor. He didn’t feel bad, just overwhelmed with emotion.

The man was still there watching him.

And then a word floated into his mind, instantly calming him.

‘Mom’

His mind couldn’t quite clarify what ‘Mom’ meant, but deep down he knew. ‘Mom’ was home, familiarity. Tight hugs and tasty cooking. Safety, security and scented candles. Childhood. Love. Unwavering, unconditional love. Family. Full stomachs and warm hearts.

Mom was everything Gerard needed right now, so he cried out for her. He was god-knows-how-many years old, but as he lay in the wake of his universe being torn to shreds, he begged for her like a small child with a scraped knee.

The man just stayed there, shaking his head.

For some reason, Gerard just sobbed more. The man wrapped his lanky arms around him, and Gerard melted into his grip. In his hold was a flicker of ‘Mom’ and drop of calm, rippling through his soul, smoothing his oceans of storms.

There was another man sat in the corner of whatever room he was in, he noticed. He had brown hair and a beard, and was sat on some kind of black box with wheels on the bottom.

Both men were speaking, but Gerard couldn’t understand, and the guy in the corner scared him a little bit. He just clutched the ‘Mom’ man tight, with all the strength his uncoordinated limbs could conjure up.

Then another word cut through the noise.

“Mikey”

‘Mikey’ was ‘Mom’.

No.

No, ‘Mikey’ wasn’t ‘Mom’.

Mikey was comics and laughter, running through the streets playing tag. Adrenaline and adoration. Play wrestling. Responsibility. Friendship. Affectionate annoyance. Childhood. Love. Unwavering, unconditional love. Broken hearts put back together in all the right ways.

‘Mikey’ was his... his... it didn’t matter.

‘Mikey’ was ‘Mikey’.

Mikey was everything Gerard needed right now. So he repeated that word, straightening his posture to become the... whatever Gerard was to Mikey.

The guy melted into his arms this time, his stone face replaced with stifled sobs between segments of speech.

It didn’t make sense to him, but one word stuck out.

“Gerard”

He was ‘Gerard’ and this was...

He looked down at the small figure and the teary hazel eyes looking up at him. He knew them so well, they were two sides of the same coin, two souls intertwined.

This was Mikey.

Gerard held him so tight, breaking down crying - not that he had ever stopped. He was ‘Gerard’, holding his ‘Mikey’ and he never ever wanted to let go. He would never let go.

They lost themselves in one another’s sobs, staining eachothers tops with tears and probably snot.

Eventually, Gerard pulled away, and looked down.

A blonde haired man with an unfamiliar face was crying on him.

It felt disgusting.

Gerard panicked, pushing the man away, cursing.

Who was he? Where was he? How on earth did he get here?

He couldn’t remember.

I didn’t make sense. Nothing made any sense, all he knew was the terror twisting his insides and the burning in his bones. He had never been anywhere like this before, he had never seen the man in front of him before.

He wanted to run, but his body refused to cooperate, simply thrashing out in directions he never aimed for when he initiated any movement. He didn’t care though, he needed to do something.

He needed to get the man off him, and he needed to get the weirdo in the corner who was now rolling closer, away from him. He needed something but he didn’t know what.

Gerard needed out.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading sorry for hurting you, I love you!!


End file.
